I was stupid at 16 years old when I bought drugs at a festival. This was my first time taking any drugs. I hadn’t drank any alcohol because I was worried that the drugs might have a bad effect if I mixed it with alcohol. I snorted a very small line and then my friends said I might as well snort another small one, as it might not have an effect on me.
As soon as I snorted the second line, I instantly collapsed. I could feel myself going into a dark hole. I was desperately trying to get out of the tent to get my friend’s attention because I knew something was instantly wrong. The best way to describe the feeling was that I was fading in and out of consciousness; it felt like fainting. I was then scooped up by one of my close friends who instantly got help. I could see, hear and understand the world around me but I couldn’t respond to anyone. I remember my friends slapping me across the face and I couldn’t physically respond. Although it hurt, I couldn’t say ‘ouch’ or react. I was totally locked into my body.
Then I saw myself from above. I was floating above the chaos watching myself dead. It was the first thing I thought, ‘FU$%, I’m dead. I’m actually dead’. I remember it so clearly. I could see about ten people standing around me trying to get me to respond. I remember freaking out thinking, ‘How do I get back to my body? I can’t die. I have to get back to my body. I must get back to my body’. Floating above myself, I didn’t have a body. I was looking at my body as if I were watching a movie. I felt a strange warmthness behind me when I was floating above my body. It was a really strange feeling but it was a feeling of reassurance. I can’t describe it but I always wonder if it was from a spirit or guardian angel behind me. My body looked dead, so lifeless. I just remember being determined to get back into my body because I wasn’t willing to let go of it.
All of a sudden, I just came back to life in my body. I was present in my own body and could move and respond. The first thing I did was grab into the soil and for some weird reason all I could say was ‘Don’t tell the BBC’. It was really strange, but at least I didn’t feel trapped any more and I could speak. I was taken to the medical tent for a few hours under strict supervision of the paramedics. Afterwards I went back to the tents where my friends were. I was petrified. I couldn’t sleep and was super anxious and frightened of what happened. I didn’t tell anyone about my experience that day because I was so scared. I felt like most of them wouldn’t have believed me anyway. For the next few nights I was afraid to go to sleep because I didn’t think I’d wake up again. When I was falling asleep, I’d get harsh twitches and hear sharp sounds that instantly woke me up again. After a few weeks, I was sleeping normally and I pushed the whole experience to the back of my mind and didn’t think about it.
I haven’t had an OBE since. I stupidly took more drugs over the next year to cope with the experience and I’ve never never never had a similar experience. I no longer take recreational drugs as I’ve grown up. My friend who also took the same drug was absolutely fine and said it gave her a normal reaction.
You may think I’m crazy or maybe it was just the drug that caused that reaction; maybe I didn’t have an OBE. For weeks I just thought it was a ‘bad trip’. But the more I think about it, the more I realise it wasn’t a bad trip and I did nearly die. I’ve never felt that before. I genuinely saw myself dead on the floor and that really scares me. I don’t speak about it much as I’m worried people will think I’m crazy and I can feel myself getting upset/worked up when I talk about the experience too much but I hope this helps your research.
I haven’t put my name, address or contact details as I don’t want the drug use linked back to me as I’m ashamed of it.