Arshan

I was not feeling well and I wasn’t paying attention to my driving. I reached an intersection and looked to both sides of the street without much care. I did not see any cars coming, so I continued along my way. Suddenly, I heard a loud car horn followed by a loud crashing sound. At that moment, I found myself floating in a dark space. I was outside my body, floating in the air and just looking around.

I saw a body lying in the middle of the street next to a car. I was looking at it from several feet away. It took me a little while to recognize that it was my own body that I am looking at. I had no feelings for it; I was just an indifferent observer. I thought to myself that I must have died, but I was not sad at all. I didn’t know where I was supposed to go from there. My thoughts and mind were the same as when I was in of my physical life, but I could not imagine the earthly thoughts.

After a short while, I gave up the worry of where I need to go from here, because I was enjoying the peace and silence. I was immersed in that moment. I was just watching from several feet up in the air as people were rushing towards my body from every direction. I couldn’t hear their voices clearly, yet I was able to comprehend what they were saying. When I looked at these people, I knew their thoughts and what they were going to say.

Since there was a hospital on the same street where the accident occurred, it didn’t take long for the ambulance to arrive. The medics put my body on a stretcher and transferred me to the ambulance. The driver turned on the sirens and sped towards the hospital. In the ambulance, the emergency medical team injected something into my body but it was no use. My body did not respond. Although I was detached from my body, I still felt like I was also somehow inside of my body too. Nevertheless, I was not feeling discomfort or pain. At the same time, I was feeling that I was going higher and higher each second.

I was floating like on a wave and felt so light. At the beginning and end of the accident, everything was moving so fast. When I exited my body, it was in another form, that was transparent and non-physical, yet it was similar to a human form. Although I saw the new form, I wasn’t giving it any thought. I was feeling pleasantly warm, could not smell or taste and did not have any bodily physical senses. I could not feel physical things, but my eyesight was greatly enhanced. I felt like I had turned into energy.

I was flying and entered into a gray-colored environment. I tried to reach a gray and dusty light that was moving in front of me. As I got closer to this light, it became brighter. The light looked like a vapor or smoke that is lit up under a street light. It was formless and had colors of blue, orange, yellow, and gold. I didn’t know what it was. The light didn’t bother my eyes and wasn’t blinding. I was pulled towards the light with great force. The closer I got to it, the more joy and peace I felt. After a while, I noticed Beings similar to me but they were more brilliantly colored and were moving slower than me. Then I was surrounded by my deceased relatives. I was feeling so much joy and lightness from seeing them. I felt they were there to help me. Their body was transparent and luminous. It never occurred to me to ask them questions like where am I, where am I going, what will happen to me, am I dead? They didn’t talk to me either.

A halo of light surrounded me into itself. My life and all of its events started to play in my mind, but it was very clear, real, and alive. It was like a slideshow, but I experienced all the feelings in these events again. Everything was shown in chronological order. Although this whole life review only took minutes, it was pleasant and interesting to me. Once my life review stopped, my mind started to analyze my life and my actions. I felt that overall, I was relatively kind to people.

After that, I felt freedom. The halo of light left me and I felt like I have to return to the physical life. I was trying to avoid this from happening because I was experiencing new and pleasant things. But I automatically left that environment and moved into a grayish-blue environment and was put into a supine position and slowly, with no effort, returned back into the ambulance. The ambulance entered the hospital and they transferred my body into the intensive care unit. My floating Being could easily pass through the walls. It was like as I got close to a wall, it would go away. I could not feel any physical thing or barrier. I knew I was moving, yet I could not feel the motion. I entered the operating room, positioned somewhere close to the ceiling. Doctors and nurses were surrounding my body, but no one noticed me up by the ceiling. They were massaging my chest area. A nurse inserted a tube into my throat and used that to give me breathing. Another doctor injected something in my body. But my body was not responding. I heard a doctor shout, ‘code pink!’

Right then, as I was floating in the air, I passed through something fixed and light, which I felt from my side. An immense feeling of loneliness, depression, and fear engulfed me. I knew that my communication with others was cut off and I could not speak to people. I felt if I don’t enter my body again, I would die forever. I was sad for my family and friends and how they would feel after my death. I could imagine and feel their feelings. On the other hand, there were important works I needed to finish and I thought I am too young to die. Nevertheless, I wanted to stay in this pleasant non-physical environment. I felt I need to decide quickly whether to stay in my body or outside of it. I felt that I cannot stay outside for too long or I would die permanently. So I decided to return.

During all this time the medical staff were trying hard to save me. Several times, they gave me an electric shock, but I didn’t feel anything. However, I felt I am getting heavier and being pulled down towards my body. It was like their effort was working. When they shocked me again after several times, my body jumped up. I felt I entered my body like a solid object, with a jerk. I felt I am inside my body and heard the nurse shout, “Wow, it worked!”

When I was entering my body, I heard a whistle and felt I am in an open and dark space that is like a funnel and am entering my body from the head. After I entered my body, I felt lots of intense pain. I think I was out for 15 to 20 minutes. For several days, I was not in the natural state. When I healed a little bit, my doctor told me, “You passed a critical state.” I said that I know and told him my entire experience from the beginning to the end. He was amazed and speechless.

Since that experience, my mind and soul is more important for me than my body. Some say that I have a healing effect on them. Now I feel I get along better with people and have more tolerance for them. I can better understand their feelings and what is going on inside them. This experience has changed my life and my thinking. I am no longer afraid of dying, as I have experienced it once.

From Gonbade Kavoos, Iran -Winter of 1996

Jennifer J.
Lamar