I’ve never written this down, despite this being the most profound experience of my life. I think because I never had a name for it, considering it was technically not a NDE. I’ve only recently heard of FDEs and knew that is what I had. It’s always been difficult to talk about this experience since it is so difficult to describe. I always wondered if this has happened to anyone else.

On New Years Eve day 1991, my friend and I were going to the mall. She was driving. I had just found out that I was 5 weeks pregnant.

We were driving west on the interestate which is a separated state highway.

We were in the left lane in a two lane highway. There was a car coming towards us. He was going the wrong way but was not in a lane. As he passed cars he was waving his hands at other drivers. I was like, ‘What is this fool DOING?’ He was trying to warn us. About a minute later here comes a blue car, in both lanes weaving back and forth between the two. Cars and trucks were jerking out of the way. The two cars in front of us parted and this blue car was about to hit us dead-on going 65mph vs 60mph. All I could see was a head of gray hair above the steering wheel with the fingers gripping it. I didn’t see a face and didn’t know it was even a man or woman until later.

This incident was before seat belt laws. The moment that I realized that I was absolutely going through that windshield and going to die, I left this plane.

I was me but wasn’t in my body. I could see and feel all of the experiences of my life thus far. I also felt an indescribable feeling of pure and overwhelming love from people in my life who were alive and who had passed such as my Grandmother. All of the past experiences that I was shown, anyone who was involved in those experiences I could also feel how they felt at the time. But the most important thing I felt was love. From these people I could feel what they felt for me, but I could also feel the love I felt for them as well. It felt like at least 2 minutes that I was somewhere else feeling that love is the most important part of life, but it was actually only a second or two. I never saw a light or a tunnel.

When I came back to this plane, I saw that our car and the other cars were moving sideways. My friend never turned the wheel. I could see the other driver’s hands on the wheel and he didn’t swerve either. The 2 cars actually parted by themselves it seemed. We just missed each other by maybe an inch or two and we were not struck. I remember the car to our right side of us swerved right and hit the overpass, we were just started to go under it. Everybody ahead of us was off the road, pulled over or crashed. I saw a couple of semis overturned in the median grass.

My friend didn’t stop as I kept telling her to pull over. I think she was in shock.

An elderly man with dementia had gotten a hold of the car keys. He got on the wrong way of the expressway and drove 30 miles before the police stopped him. Nobody died that day. It was absolutely unbelievable. It was never on or in the news. The only reason I found out the circumstances was because my mother worked for the State Police.

26 years later and I still cannot talk about it without breaking down. After the FDE I had no fear of death, and still do not. But I have always worn my seat belt since that day.