I had severe eclampsia. My feet were so swollen that I had to wear my husband’s shoes to the doctor’s office. The doctor promptly called an ambulance. I was only 30 weeks into my pregnancy when I was hospitalized because of my extreme blood pressure. The doctor gave me a shot of steroids to help the baby’s lungs develop. He told my husband and me that it would take a week to work, and they didn’t think I would make it that long. I prayed and made it a week exactly. Now my baby would have a better chance. I was exhausted. The hospital had tried to induce labor in many different painful ways. Frustrated, I looked at my husband and said, ‘I wish they would just do a C-section already. I don’t think I can make it much longer.’ My husband became upset and left the room to pull himself together. It was the only time that he had left me that week.

When he came back a few minutes later, my room was full of doctors and nurses. They were trying to hold me down on the bed. I was having a seizure and couldn’t breathe. I thought they were trying to drown me. My husband’s voice finally got through my panic and I tried to calm down. I couldn’t breathe, everything hurt. I was in so much pain. It was bright WHITE pain. I always thought the body would pass out before such levels of pain. I was wrong. I am ashamed to say that I reached a point of pain, that I didn’t care about my baby any more, I didn’t care about my husband, nor did I care about the possibility of dying. The ONLY thing I cared about was getting out of that pain. In my mind, I called out for God’s help. I knew he was the only one that could help me.

The white light of the pure pain caused my soul to step sideways outside of my body. I was in the brightest light that felt like I was in a room made out of light. I felt a male presence behind me. I knew that my baby would be fine. But, I had to choose if I wanted to stay in the light or go back. I looked down and saw my husband in the future without me. It would be very hard for him to lose me and have to raise this child alone. I saw my mother trying to get custody of my son and blaming my husband for my death. I sighed. I didn’t want to leave the light, but I couldn’t leave my husband with that burden.

I woke up three days later. I had suffered a stroke and had barely survived. My baby was only 3 lbs. and 2 oz., but his lungs were fine. He is perfect. My thyroid no longer works, but after a month, we were both doing pretty well. It was 6 months before I could see correctly. My eyes were swelled horrifically during the stroke.