I was 8.5 months pregnant and suddenly developed toxemia poisoning. This was my 5th pregnancy, but only second birth. I had lost 3 other babies. I had a 5 year-old-son of my own and a 2-year-old that we had adopted as a baby when I kept miscarrying. I was rushed to a hospital emergency room when my blood pressure went way out of control. My face was so swollen that I could hardly see out of my eyes. The rest of my body swelled to the point that the doctor on call, mistakenly thought I was an obese person and yet I only weighed 135 lbs! Everything happened so very fast, such that I suddenly could not breathe on my own. I lost consciousness at some point. That is when I experienced being outside of my body and was watching how frantically they were working to get me to breathe on my own.

My next realization was that I was no longer frightened about not being able to breathe on my own. I was at peace and very aware of the steps the doctors and nurses were taking to save my life. I understood all the terms they were using and could comprehend that I was not alive as far as they were concerned. I became aware of is the state of each person’s relationship with others in the room. There were suddenly no secrets and yet, there was no judgment on my part, but rather an unconditional love. I felt very much loved at this time and I wanted to extend that to the others in the room. But they could not hear me. I could hear and see everything! It made me think of the scripture that says, we ‘will fully know as we are fully known.’ Oddly, this ability continues today in terms of knowing the truth about people’s relationships with others.

I was not allowed to stay in God’s presence, which was so full of light and love. I was told, not in words, but rather a thought that I had to come back and continue to be a mother to my sons.

I suddenly became aware of being rushed to the delivery room and being guided through the birth which was so fast! Then I was sent to the recovery room and I wanted my bible because I didn’t want to lose that incredible sense of love and light that I had experienced. However, the recovery room nurse wouldn’t let me have my bible! She said I needed to rest. I laughed and had the boldness to tell her that she had no idea what true rest was. I told her I had just been in God’s presence and discovered a rest and peace, that no amount of sleep would ever bring. She didn’t comprehend what I was saying but did acknowledge that I must have gone through a frightening experience since they ‘lost me for a little while’. I tried to explain that I wasn’t lost at all and that I felt more alive than I every had felt. I suddenly understood what ‘living in the spirit’ meant. I also came to see that we put so much effort into our physical being, when in fact life through the spirit is far more powerful and satisfying. Words cannot adequately describe the incredible life and power that I had experienced from being in God’s presence. I feel at loss to help others understand that the reality we live in our physical lives is nothing compared to life in the spiritual realm. Words cannot describe adequately what it is like to be in God’s tremendously loving presence. I did learn that I can give the same unconditional love to others as though it is flowing through me from God.