Jennifer A.

I laid down for the evening. All during the day and even the week prior I had been missing my son to the point that my heart was hurting. Holidays have been excruciating and this is the first one without him. As I lay in bed feeling myself going into the state where you know you are going to sleep soon but consciously you are still awake. Possibly a lucid dream state.

As I lay there, I could see a tunnel sort of forming in my mind. Without hesitation, I jumped into it. I suddenly entered a room. There was a young man in the room and I immediately saw that it was my son. I started walking over to him. He turned his head and glanced at me then he took off running through the house. He ran around a table and tripped over a chair then fell to the floor. I continued toward him and when I nearing him, I reached down to assist him in getting up. It was then that he recognized who I was and jumped up wrapping his arms around me giving me the biggest hug ever. Soon thereafter, my phone rang and I was driven to get up out of the bed to go answer the door. (actual physical activity, not part of the dream). When I went to open the door, I had difficulty walking through the house. I felt like I was intoxicated and even ran into the wall a couple of times. After answering the door, I returned to my bed and attempted to sleep once more. As I lay there in the state of asleep and awake, I began to hear a voice in a distance, Mom… Mom… and with each calling of my name, the voice came nearer, louder, until I felt it right behind my left ear. I lay there being cautious. Not responding. Then I decided to call out his name and he responded by saying… Mom. I have been looking for you. I told him that I wanted to go with him. Please, take me with you. He said he couldn’t. I told him, ‘I know you are dead Jon, but I want to go with you.’ He told me, ‘I am not dead. My body is no longer but I am not dead.’ Please take me with you, I told him again. ‘I am not strong enough Mom, I don’t have enough energy to take you,’ he told me. I said, ‘Take my energy and use it, but please let me travel with you tonight.’

He disappeared for what seemed a long period of time during which I started to feel the energy being physically drained from my body. It felt as if it was being siphoned from my head and a vortex was forming around my face and forehead. My body felt a tingling sensation and I could not move my limbs. Then suddenly I was floating. I was floating alongside of my son. We were in a playground. I saw other children there walking around some talking to each other and others playing on the playground equipment. We eventually floated over to a set of monkey bars where we perched and began to talk. I asked why he was here and he said he was waiting. I asked what he was waiting for and he said that I would know soon enough. He could not leave until he was allowed to. We continued talk for a while then someone appeared in the playground, which my son knew. He looked over at me and said, ‘come on Mom, we have to go. Its not safe here now.” He pulled out a sword and as we were getting ready to leave, I could see the others that were there when we arrived began to pull out knives and swords as well. I was baffled and looked over to my son, but he would not explain. The dream continued throughout the night. After leaving the playground, I remember being in a house, another forest, and even a boat. At some point I remember being on a boat. It was raining and there was a lot of water everywhere. I recall my phone being under water. This was a bit strange because I remember seeing the phone on a desk, which was under water. I picked up the phones and pressed a button on the side and it lit up. I remember being surprised to see this as it was an iPhone. Then the screen started flickering and I saw the phone was going to die so I turned it off quickly and removed some type of module from the center of it then turned it back on without worrying whether it was going to work again. After spending much of the night dreaming of being with my son, I awoke to feeling not quite back to myself.

I felt like I was intoxicated again. Only this time it was far worse. My legs felt wobbly as I felt had no motor control. I kept running into walls, doors, etc. I felt mentally impaired like I was under the influence of alcohol. There was a buzzing in my head and I was not at all alert. I continued to feel this way for about four hours after I had awaken. I also felt a certain amount of relief.

After the dream, my emotions had settled down a bit. The longing to see him and to hold him had subsided a bit. I felt wholeness and peace.