My Experience on 9/11/2001
~Leslie E. Espaillat
In no way do I want this story to diminish the experiences of those who lost their lives and the lives of their love ones on that tragic infamous day on 9-11-2001. I have too much respect to make this about me, however; it is an event about all of us. Over the years, I have been reluctant to speak a word about what happened on that fateful day except to a few individuals. I do believe with all my heart it is time to speak about a supernatural occurrence that I experienced. I mentioned it to two of the closest most trustworthy people who would not think I was crazy and a teacher I would meet over the phone for the first time on that week of 9/11, and less than six others throughout the years. I know it is the right time, now. I want to thank Steve B of The 2012 Scenario blog for suggesting I tell my account, and it definitely was a confirmation that it is the right time.
It was September 11, 2001 primary election day here in New York City. I called in early to the office, explaining that I would not be there at my usual 8:30 AM schedule because I was volunteering in a political campaign. I was involved in handing out last minute flyers to each passerby. However, prior to getting on the subway to head out to work, I bid the candidate farewell, and wished him all the best, as well as to his opponent who was nearby. I took the train with no incident, and then transferred to another line to reach my final destination when the conductor got on the speakerphone to make an announcement about a plane hitting the WTC at 8:46 am. Soon after, the subway was coming out from the tunnel up to the elevated tracks above street level, I could see smoke from one of the twin tower buildings. I can remember that morning as a beautiful, crystal clear day with not a cloud in the sky. I got off at the Queensboro station stop, and remained on the platform with a few other passengers who chose to stay and witness the catastrophic event from across the East River facing the North & South towers. At this point, all other incoming trains had stopped running for most of the day so I stood on the platform without other trains interrupting or blocking my view.
What I witnessed next was a second plane strike at 9:03 am at the second tower. I was very familiar with those towers because on Tuesdays or Fridays at lunchtime or before/after work, I would deliver nutritional products from my very part-time work to the WTC. What happened next could be described as a Quantum leap or jump. Quantum in the sense of what I observed was almost as if my universe collided into another dimension, and an energy force moved me from one form to another. American dictionary describes a quantum leap/ jump, “as a sudden change from one energy state to another… I will explain what happen in a moment. Yet, at the same time it felt like a radical pausing of time, as if time froze. I am not sure if I am making myself clear, but it was certainly a very unique experience.
Therefore, let me start with this. As I was standing at the platform and watching the fire my heart was in pieces, my heart was weeping with immense grief. I could only think of all the people trapped in the upper floors where the fires in both buildings were occurring. I wanted to save them, and stretch my arms to reach them all from where I was standing, and of course that was simply wishful thinking. All I could mutter was ‘Oh my GOD’. What happened next is beyond the comprehension of most people; I was transported to one of the towers. In that moment, it felt like I was split into two. I found myself in a dark stairwell with people screaming. I didn’t notice a fire. We were going down the stairs and I could feel the panic of others. What followed next was something so explosive causing the stairwell to buckle and be sucked down like a vacuum. We all started to free-fall, and what I will never ever forget are the numerous hands that grabbed my shoulder and body while we were all falling to the bottom. I still get chills when I think of this moment. I don’t know for how long I was in the building and of course, I never hit the bottom because I was immediately transported back to the train station platform where my body was either being held up by other entities (Angels, Higher Self or Guardians) or I was able to split, and be in two places at once.
After the buildings collapsed, I turned around, and I will never forget these two individuals an Asian woman and a blue-collar worker, a few feet away from me, and I asked, “If what I think I saw, just happened?” “Is it real?” They both nodded their heads and said ‘yes’ very softly, and obviously both shaken to the core, as well. I completely lost track of time, and I left the station about 10:30 am in a very weak, and somber manner. I was in such disbelief that the moment I walked into the office, I was asked if everything is okay because everyone who knew me, and saw me said “ You look as white as a ghost.” They said, “You have no color,” and I always wear lipstick, soft make-up, and walk into work with an upbeat attitude. However, it was not to be on that day. I was so confused as to what happened to me on that platform, and more importantly why was the WTC hit with so many people there? I went straight to where many of my colleagues, and clients were standing and listening to the news unfolding.
At that time, I worked as a case manager for a very well known non-profit organization, and we had clients at the office, and a few were in a panic about family or friends in the Wall Street area where the WTC was located. I no longer had time to process what had taken place on that platform because I was too busy consoling others. Early in the evening, I headed home by train through other train lines because most of the city was on very high alert. I can remember the silence, and the very low energy of the other passengers on the subway car. I wanted to get home as quickly as possible. I had no time to grieve during the day except on few occasions I’d catch myself, and my eyes would well up, but no time to grieve or think. Also, I would be going home to an empty apartment because that past summer of 2001, my former husband had taken our daughter to finish High School in Florida, and my son had just completed High School and wanted to go to college in Florida, as well. I could cry alone for as long as I wanted to. I knew my children would be worried, and I would find messages on my answering machine. I was an empty nester for the first time in my life, and that was not easy for me, grieving from that also.
I walked up to my apartment as fast as I could. I turned the key to open the door, and locked it behind me and rested my body against the door, and started to sob like a baby. My sobbing didn’t last very long because what happened next was unreal. This is where the supernatural or multidimensional worlds collide. I could not explain what I was about to experience, but I had a familiar occurrence. In the past, people close to me would show up briefly in my dreams or passing by to say goodbye before their death or after, but what occurred was beyond anything I could conjure up. I immediately stopped sobbing as soon as I realized there were three souls/spirits/ individuals in my apartment with me. I immediately knew they were from the WTC center. I went into helping mode and started to consol them. I was never afraid, I was in the second year of reading and practicing ‘A Course in Miracles’ and I believe this book prepared me to remain calm and peaceful. I did tell them, “I don’t know how, but I promise I will find a way to help each one of you go to the Light, to the other side where you should be.” I also told them I would turn on the television so that we can all hear the news as to what happened to the towers.
Let me tell you that I sense they were all expressing serious confusion, and loss. I’d also like to tell you about each person/soul who was present in the apartment. One was a very shy man who was sitting at the end of my sofa in quiet despair and disbelief. I believe him to be in his 40-50’s, and he stayed in that space the entire time. Then there was this bubbly young lady in her 20’s, who found comfort in my bedroom, and she would sit at the end of the bed watching, and listening to all the 9/11 events, and the third individual also a woman with a family to go home to in her late 30’s to 40’s spent most of her time in the kitchen. I got the impression that she spends much time in the kitchen cooking for her family. She would also cause a ruckus at night with the pots and pans. I was afraid the neighbors would hear her, but no one came to my door. I also noticed that there behavior was the same each night; they picked their favorite spots in the apartment.
{As I am writing this on the computer (October 9, 2012), I noticed 11:11 pm on the clock .}
I went to work the next day on Wednesday Sept. 12th, and before I left the apartment, I told them, “I will be coming back.” By Thursday, Sept. 13th I was even more heartbroken, and again I went to work exhausted. However, that evening I was determined to help them but, how? Late that night at about 10:45 pm, I was listening to the news and they mentioned how volunteers were helping out across from the NYC Jacob Javits Convention Center in a designated area supplying workers, police and fire personnel with supplies. I called my friend Elga in tears, and told her I needed to leave the apartment for a while, not giving her any details about my visitors, yet. As a child, I suffered from insomnia, as well as into adulthood, and this made it even more difficult to get much sleep, as was the case with perhaps millions of people that week, too. I left the apartment, grabbed a taxi heading downtown to the volunteer site across from the Convention Center. I was glad I followed my instincts because most volunteers were leaving, and there were boxes, and a truck loaded with merchandise and supplies. Fortunately, my past experience as a retail department manager and buyer prove to be invaluable that night. I was able to go from booth to booth taking an inventory of what shortages and supplies so I could relay this to an on site radio reporter as to what was needed. I ran a list of items that were needed: more batteries, flashlights, hard hats, etc.., and for now we had enough cases of water. Many companies were donating from their inventory over to this site. On that night it started to rain so hard. I love the rain it actually felt good because in certain areas of the city one could smell the residue of smoke and chemicals from the aftermath of the 9/11 WTC disaster. I could cry too, and no one would notice. I simply put on a disposable rain poncho while many volunteers left, and fewer came that night because of the downpour.
However, the WTC workers continued to come throughout the night picking up raingear, boots, water and supplies. I spoke to a fireman, he told me “things are bad, still looking, and hoping to find survivors.” I thought of those souls at my apartment knowing they would never see their families, and love ones, again. I continued working throughout the night. At one point, I walked over to the full truckload and I called out, and requested that the volunteers form a line while I directed several strong bodies to go into the truck, and pass the items down to place them on tables and booths in an organized manner. It rained on and off for most of the night, and by 5:30 am I was ready to head back home. I left the area not knowing anyone, yet feeling connected to all the volunteers who came to help in their own way. There were no dramas or ego’s just people helping each other make sense of it all by being present. Fortunately, one of the volunteers offered me a lift back uptown on his way home. I do not remember his name, but just like myself he too needed to help out in some small way.
It was September 14th, 2001, Friday morning, and I called the office to let them know that I would not be coming in. I had not slept, and I was determined to find a solution to help those three dear souls move on. I promised them. I couldn’t sleep so I listened to the last tape cassette that my friend Elga loaned me. It was part of a study set by Rahul Patel. Patel, shortly after coming to America, had a near death experience (NDE) and his life changed forever. He had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. As a result of NDE he devoted his time with Zen Masters in Japan, and throughout his journeys visited China, Egypt, Tibetan monasteries and other locations. Patel learned Energy Healing, and also became an expert on herbs. His cancer did go into remission. Immediately after listening to the tape, I took a look at the back of the audiotape cassette package of “Healing Energy,” and noticed a contact telephone number. I was so ecstatic, and told all my guests/spirits that I believe I have found someone who might be able to help us all. This was the breakthrough I needed. Although, I was very tired, suddenly my weariness disappeared. I paced the apartment, did a dance that I refer to fondly as a ‘thank you GOD dance’ also including all my Angels and Guardians, too. I couldn’t wait until noon to make the call because it was a west coast number in California, and so I called at 11:00 am hoping I could leave a message of urgency, and Patel would return the call or someone else would.
What happened next when I called was stupefying. It must be my spiritual circle (Angels & Guardians) at work, once again. Today, I lovingly refer to them as my ‘spiritual gang’ by someone who named them for me. Anyway, a man answered the phone at the other end, and I asked for Rahul Patel; he acknowledged that it was he and nonchalantly said, “I have been waiting for your call while having my morning tea.” Yippee, my heart was pounding, my stomach full of butterflies, and yet I proceeded to discuss what happened to me on 9/11 on that subway station platform, and about my guests. He listened to me without interruption, and then explained that I was the third person that he was aware of that this too had occurred. He asks me my name, where I live, my phone number and then asked me to get a pad, which I had nearby. Patel gave me simple instructions to help the three individual souls/ spirits go to the Light and to the other side.
I will paraphrase what Patel said because I did not keep the note with the instructions after the sacred ceremony was completed. He said, light a white candle, it could be done anywhere, but it must be done with another person (two or more) praying for these souls to be released from this earth plane and move towards the Light. After hanging up, I immediately called my pal, and a Living Angel she is, Elga to inform her of what was going on, and that I had spoken to Rahul Patel and explained my dilemma and he gave me instructions. Elga, said yes, jumping right in to help them, too. We set the date for the next day, Saturday the 15th in the early afternoon. We put soft angelic music, prayed and Elga received a name of one of the souls (which I will not repeat), and for about 30-45 minutes we spoke to them with compassion, love and tears. We did this ceremony at her apartment nearby, and we engaged the souls to help us get them to the Light. Elga’s place was more appropriate, a divine space with a collection of Angel figurines, and Angelic Spiritual music. There was an overwhelming peace in the room, and we sense that they understood that they had to depart from this world. We told them that we loved them and that their love ones would miss them so very much and they would not be forgotten, but we gently and lovingly told them it was time to go on to their next journey. It was a mix bag of emotions, tears, and joy. Elga and I were also able to grieve with them and for them, as well as for all the 9/11 victims. We felt the Peace of GOD and many Angels in the room.
Yes, I came home to my apartment, and they were gone. I said a prayer of gratitude in my living room and that night I slept like a baby. The next day I cleaned, and blessed the apartment. I would like you to know that Patel, and I spoke one time after that and my friend Elga spoke to him many times after, as well. Rahul Patel came to NYC in October 2001 to hold a prayer vigil several blocks away from ground zero in the Washington Square Park. We had met other individuals who followed Patel’s works and teachings, and as he always said ‘Live, Laugh and Love.” I remember on that day the three souls I met in my apartment and pray for the others, too. After the walk/ vigil around the park, Patel and a group of us enjoyed a meal at a nearby Indian restaurant with much Love in our hearts, and much appreciation to be with such a kind and humble man.
My experience at the subway platform shows me that we are multidimensional, powerful and courageous beyond comprehension. It certainly could have happened at another place and time, and it has, but that is for another time. Although, on many occasions, I notice the clock with the time 9/11, and I am reminded of those who were with me in my small apartment, and take it as a sign that they all made it to the Light, and are in a safe place.
Thank you for allowing me to share this story.
Love, Light & Peace,
Leslie Esperanza Espaillat
{10-10-2012 /11:11 PM, again}