Lucie

I am a student in France. One evening after courses, I went for a drink with a boy. One drink led to another and then we were doing shots. In short, I was unsteady on my feet, and after a few minutes I decided to shorten the date and make a stop at my apartment. I lived a few streets away from the bar and wanted to join my girlfriends later on for an evening between girls.

On stumbled all the way home. I was walking fast and stopped in front of my entrance. I live on the fifth floor and the building has no elevator, so I had some difficulties climbing the stairs. After succeeding to cross the doorway of my apartment, I lock myself in, and collapsed on the floor. I was on my knees vomiting and then I was overwhelmed by tiredness. I fell asleep for a few minutes. Upon waking up, I remembered that I have to join my friends. I decided to cleaned myself, eat some food and then I would join my friends. I had started to clean myself up; Having only a bathtub and being very tired, I decide to let the water run. My body was very weak but I still could think. I put my telephone to charge, and waited a bit in the bathroom near the hot water, that actually was burning hot because I didn’t control the temperature. The water was still running and the steam evaporated in the bathroom. In order to keep more heat, I had closed the door. Then I was slipping into the water and waiting the tub to finish filling. I was relaxing. I looked at the wall facing me and perceived that the day was done. I have a skylight in my bathroom just above my tub, so I couldn’t see that, but the light in the room had dimmed. When I felt too relaxed and the tub was well filled, I closed the tap with my foot. Then I felt literally cradled and fell asleep. In fact the warm water increased my state of intoxication fourfold, as it dilated my veins, and the alcohol put me into a state of coma. I could feel my pulse slow down.

I felt cold and slipped deeper into this hot water that was comforting me. I had no body anymore and couldn’t move. I had to rest my head. I was slipping into the coma. I felt like I was lying in a bed, warm and cozy, while in reality I started to drown.

It was there that I saw myself! I was floating above myself, but really above, not at the side or in a corner. It was very pleasant. I saw myself asleep, at peace and at the same time I was above, tied to my body with a thick thread like a cord. This was reassuring as I could move above my body without getting lost. I was myself but like an energy that felt many things. Time was slow but events were passing fast. I was ultra lucid. There was no sound; I didn’t hear anything. I was like in a bubble. I remember that I looked through the skylight that was now facing me. At the same height, as I was floating 1 to 2 meters above myself. I have a memory that I looked at the roofs. I recall this moment where I watched the roofs and very lucidly reflected about my life. Then the most beautiful happened. A bright white light appeared, but it did not have blinding luminosity. On the contrary, it was captivating and full of love. The light appeared in my field of vision. My field of vision was that I could see around myself, below, and etc. It emanated from a place that seemed to lead somewhere. But I really couldn’t move. This light nevertheless came close, as if I had zoomed it.

I saw no tunnel, as the light even emanated at the interior. I saw no silhouette. There was no communication. I didn’t see my life passing in front of me. But this light was alive and in fact, it marked me. It was unconditional love. It was as if I also was this light, like a soulmate. It was an energy like myself, but more dissipated and it diffused everywhere. I could spend hours to describe it, to look for the right words. I often think about it. It is like a love that you cannot forget. It didn’t say anything. It came close and illuminated me as we watched each other. Then I remembered my body and this ‘bubble’ effect was lesser. I was hearing again. My brother was screaming and banging at the door of my apartment; I didn’t understand at once who it was. Then I felt sick to hear those screams and bangs, as if somebody was trying to join me. My ‘living me’ regained life when I integrated into my body through my head; my brain, the eyes and ears, and respiration.

And there was total pain, noise, and feeling bad. I was back to life. I understood and saw that I was drowning as I made noises in the water. I was coughing with excess as I was not swallowing the water. I believe that this was done to create much noise, so that my soul would come back. It’s still very complicated for me to explain as I also didn’t want to leave. Then I waited a few minutes to understand what was happening. Getting scared with the bangs and screams, I ejected myself from the tub. I still don’t understand where I found the strength to get up but I went to open the door. Then casually I returned to the bathroom and the water that was not so warm anymore. I wanted to return to the space of happiness, near this light. I was taken out of the water and after the episode, and when my body temperature came back to normal. I was able to think and move. At no time was I scared about what happened. What was hurting me, and made me cry, was the behavior of my family who were worried and upset.

During several months I wanted to reassure my surroundings about the event and wanted to simply forget it. Then I saw that my behavior changed, my habits changed and I didn’t relate it to this event. It wasn’t until February-March of this year that I decided to put words on what happened, even at the risk of being considered crazy. My experience is complex, as there was the existence of this real thread, a cord; of this journey with my ‘me’ between two worlds. It’s the existence of this cord, and the fact that I felt the need this summer to inquire about NDE, that I started searching for answer. I found Dr. Long’s book and the website. I wanted to add experience to your research.