My grandmother had been sick for several years before she passed with tuberculosis and then later lung cancer.

My dream starts that I am shopping in a clothing store and am looking for something on one of those round clothing racks. The store is very crowded with these racks and as I am rounding the rack I see my grandmother sitting there in her wheelchair watching me. I am very excited and say “Grandma, your here! I notice she is holding my baby brother in her lap. She appears to be alive but my brother is wrapped in blankets and not moving. She notices me noticing him and I ask her “Did you bring him?”

She says ” Yes, Yes, but we don’t have much time.” I nod at her as if I understand completely and begin pushing the chair to a less crowded area of the store. There we sit hidden by the circular clothes rack and I take my brother from her lap. She sitting there watching me with a loving smile on her face. I hold my brother and smell him and that sweet baby smell. I remember the blankets he was wrapped in were white with baby blue stripes around the edges that overlapped on the corners but I can’t really remember seeing him. I see my grandmother very plain. She is dressed in a navy blue dress very simple style. Her hair is darker then I remembered it in life but the same style. I remember her skin being very pale and her lipstick very red. I remember her smile and I remember thinking that this must be very hard on her because she seemed tired.

We sat there for what seemed like a long time with my brother in my lap and me holding her hand. I remember thinking it strange that she didn’t feel cold to me. We didn’t talk but it was like we knew each others thoughts and she would grin at me and even laughed. Then she said it was time to go and I stood up and placed my brother back in her lap. I leaned over the chair and hugged her from behind and I remember her patting my arm. Then I am behind her and pushing the chair again when I jerk awake. I am out of breath as if the wind has been knocked from me.