In 2002, I had a severe car crash where I hit a tree head-on at 80 km/h. I lost consciousness several times. The steering wheel pushed me against the driver’s seat. I had a series of broken ribs on both sides, a broken breastbone, and both ankles had been broken. I spent 8 weeks in intensive care. During this time, I had one or two NDEs. I never knew if they belonged together or not. I’m writing both of them down.

The first experience was when my body was lying on the operating table. I had six or seven doctors and nurses around me. Yet, I was standing in a corner of the surgery room and watched for about 20 seconds to see how they were operating on me.

I was weightless and slowly flying straight up. I was standing upright but not on a surface where I would have been able to stand. Surrounding me was an agreeable brightness that was white but not blinding. I felt truly good. I didn’t think. I just let everything happen and it was beautiful. After a short time, I saw a gray edge above me, which was slightly bent. I moved towards this edge and when I was there, I saw my deceased mother and her mother who was my grandmother. Their faces could be recognized through brighter or darker white and it was slightly fuzzy like looking through milk glass, yet nothing was between us. My mother reached out with her hand.

I knew that if I went through the door, I would be dead immediately, but that I would be in heaven. I stayed. After this, the NDE ended immediately.

In the second experience, my grandmother put her hand on my mother’s shoulder. Without talking but through ‘thought transmission’ we all knew immediately what was going happening. Within tenths of a second, my grandmother ‘communicated’ to my mother, that I would be there soon. Time seems to be different there because- a second can be decades or more. I didn’t take my mother’s hand. After that, the NDE ended immediately.

Nevertheless, in both cases, I had the choice. I could have left the operating room immediately and been in ‘heaven’.

I could also have taken my mother’s hand and would be there.

My life and my way of living changed after the accident and the NDEs. At the age of 35, I’m now a pensioner and there are many things that I cannot do anymore.

But the NDEs positively changed my life. I’m much more serene than before. There are many things that I don’t take as seriously. I’m doing a lot more thinking instead of doing something. I’m not afraid of death any more. I rarely get upset. I have much more respect for people, animals and plants.