Valeria

I was in the passenger seat of a car that my boyfriend was driving. It was nighttime and raining heavily. There was a lot of traffic because we were on a busy route from the beach to the capital, São Paulo. There was a dog in the back seat. The last move I remember making was taking my bag from the back seat, putting it on my lap and opening it to get a comb for my hair because it was wet from swimming. I tilted the mirror. That was the last thing I remember before waking.

I woke up hearing the muffled sound of people outside the car. I heard someone shout, ‘Take her bag off her lap! Take her bag off her lap!’ I screamed because my feet were broken and trapped. I could not move because my boyfriend’s body was on top of and pressing down on me with the weight of the broken car on top of him. I could hear him moaning. Part of his body and face were pressed into me. I could not move, not that I really tried, as I felt totally immobile. This lucidity lasted seconds as I realized what was happening. Then a different consciousness in my mind was a voice saying, ‘Oh, I’m dying. I am dying’.

There was a feeling of peace. I gave into myself to this feeling and thought, ‘I want my family to know that I’m going in peace.’ I saw the image of each of my family members; my three siblings and my parents. The image of each one came and I felt, ‘Let them know that I’m going in peace.’ I slipped into a radiant tunnel of white light. It was not exactly a cylinder, but there was a spotlight that seemed like a projection. I slipped into a sense of being pure consciousness. It was not my body or I, as we know it here on earth. It was a feeling of blurring and integrating with greater awareness; a return to life in its pure state. It was a feeling of deep, light peace, beauty, and lightness. Although all of these characteristics define something earthly, human, and tangible, this had nothing to do with physical pleasure. Yet it is how I can best describe the visions and sensations in relation to how we understand the physical world. I breathed this light.

When I woke up, I still couldn’t move. I remembered that about a week before I had dreamed that I had died in a car accident. I thought, ‘Oh, it happened. I died.’ I closed my eyes. Then I heard voices and opened my eyes again. I tried to move, but could not. I turned my head and saw that everything was white. I noticed the walls and ceiling and then I realized where I was. When I lifted my head up a bit, I saw two people. One of them said, ‘She woke up, we have to put it in place’. I saw my left foot hanging. The doctor lifted my ankle and suddenly re-positioned it. I screamed out in pain and passed out. This moment must have been shortly after having arrived at the hospital. I woke up hours later in a room, and a police officer arrived asking questions. I remembered the names of my family. The memories were clear despite the fractures, cuts, and difficulty breathing.