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It was January. I had started to feel very ill. Having Crohn’s disease I thought that maybe this was the problem. I had just returned from the Ukraine where it wasn’t safe to drink the water. As a result I only drink bottled water. I was actually visiting family who lived in the Ukraine, Russia, Kazakhstan and what was formally East Germany. We were there for a wedding. Unfortunately, the bottled water print was only in Ukrainian, so, I couldn’t read the list of nutrients that it contained. After returning home a sense of weakness was slowly increasing. And by January I found I could barely function. I constantly felt as though I was going to pass out. My driving became a problem. I couldn’t dress myself. I did not want to eat. And I felt short of breath. I started scheduling my clinical clients later and later because I could not get out of bed in the mornings. This got my husband’s attention. Then one day I found my husband and son not only dressing me but putting me in the car. I don’t remember the drive to my family doctor’s office, but I have vague memories of being there. I know they took my blood. And I remember being told I needed to get out of the wheelchair for a chest X-ray. I couldn’t stand. My doctor told my husband that I needed to get to the emergency room because I had a lethal Calcemia issue. My levels were at a deadly high level. Later on I would learn that my body had absorbed too much calcium from the bottled water in the Ukraine. Plus, one of my Crohn’s medicines had been changed and it was full of calcium. I don’t remember going to the emergency room. Nor do I remember any of the multitude of tests they ran me through, or how I ended up in my hospital room with a hospital gown on. My husband was amazed to discovered that I was in the exact hospital room my father-in-law had been in before he passed. I cannot tell you how much comfort this gave me. During those early days I went in and out of consciousness. I was so scared. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. During one of those days I had an unusual experience.

For decades I have been researching deathbed visions and published books on this, so I was very familiar with the near death experience. If this had been a classic near death experience I would have understood it right away. But it wasn’t. It was my experience. I don’t remember what day it was. Nor do I remember a time.

Suddenly there was no time. And I felt myself looking out my door into a golden room. I mean it was bright gold and it was beautiful. There were rays of gold streaming through, and there were people covered in gold talking, laughing at a desk. I watched them and felt happy. there was a blond haired young woman behind the desk, a man dressed in jeans and , with another man dressed in trousers like my grandfathers. They were all covered in gold. Along with this, there was a brighter color of gold to the right of the desk. At the same time I could also see the two young nurses in my room. As they chatted I just kept watching the golden endless light outside the room.

Then I saw a hallway. It appeared right across from my room. It wasn’t as golden as the other, but it was still gold. And I heard a weird sort of singing or talking. I couldn’t really understand it but it did leave me feeling calm. One main voice contain wisdom, strength, reassurance. As the voice talked I heard the tinkling of bells. The combination of these pretty, softly tinkling bells and the voice was so soothing. Then I noticed that in the hallway across from me, people of all nationalities and ages were some how filtering into the hallway and then ending up behind the curtains. I kept trying to figure out how they were doing that. Once behind those curtains I saw forms moving. And I heard quiet laughter. It fell like some sort of reunion was going on. I just kept watching the forms sort of float, sit, behind the curtain. I can’t really explain it, or how long I watched this. When I look back on it now I still cry as it was such a powerful experience. It seemed like it went on for days. Or time got lost.

Sometime later, I found myself back. No calming spiritually soothing voice, tinkling bells, or golden light. Back in my room. Where the golden light had been was just a nurses station, dark wood, no light, no joy. Across from my room, no golden hallway full of happy people. Just hospital rooms. The two nurses were still there, in my room. I was aware but it wasn’t the same. I wanted out of the hospital.