Life events leading up to the Experience:
Married for three years; no children, though wife was pregnant at the time of the Experience. I did not know until after the Experience. We had separated. She left me due to her discovery of sexual promiscuity on my part.
I regularly smoked marijuana, drank little alcohol; no hard drugs or prescribed drugs for the most part. The exception was that I took LSD that night.
The night of 24th August, 1983, I was out with a friend, just cruising around and getting high. For years, this friend had tried to get me to do some LSD with him, but I always refused. This particular night, I said ‘yes’ because my life was spiraling downhill and felt I had very little to lose. I had no job and my wife left me when she out about sexual indiscretion.
I was already high from smoking marijuana. After 20 minutes of taking the LSD, the effects of the LSD was taking hold. I saw trails and colors with a sense of trying to hold on to my reality. A couple of hours later, I began to hear voices and seeing the life force in the trees as I passed them by. It seemed, the life forces in the trees were suffering and I could sense their groanings and sufferings. Eventually, I started hearing voices that seemed to center around my friend and I was sensing he completely succumbed to their influence. I became fearful that I was going to die and demanded that he take me home. With some initial resistance at first, he relented and took me home.
I hadn’t been home very long, when I started noticing this sound in my ears (OM?). It started out as a high pitch sound (the sound of silence or the sound a person hears with tinnitus). The sound began to lower itself in octave. At a certain octave, I become aware of a certain vibration of everything around me. The vibration seemed to be at a corresponding rate as the sound, only opposite of each other. As the sound got lower, the vibratory rate got faster. As this was coming on, I suddenly felt the need to lay down. So, I laid down on the couch. I remember thinking I was just going to try and sleep this off.
After lying down on the couch, I remember looking up to the ceiling. The sound got lower and the vibratory rate got faster. I started seeing crosses that were distorted. The ends of the crosses swirled a bit. The surface of the ceiling was covered by these crosses. It happened that I turned my head a bit to look down at the clock sitting on top of my TV. It read around 11:00 p.m., give or take a couple of minutes. I no longer looked back up at the ceiling, a faint screen of yellow light started filling my field of vision and I felt something seize me, as if to secure me. This seizing had such control of my body, my arms began to move outwards as if to form a cross with my body.
Then, it happened! The yellow light got brighter as the vibratory rate got faster and the sound was reaching the light’s vortex. Then, there was an exploding flash of light, going from yellow to white. The flash seemed to have taken place between my eyes at the center of my forehead. Then, I was no longer in my body. I was completely surrounded by blackness. The darkness was thick, as if I could feel it. However, as I began to take stock of myself, I had no body. Yet, knew I existed. I remember feeling at peace although I was surrounded and suspended in one place by darkness. I never saw my physical body after leaving it, nor did I float near the ceiling of the room my body was in.
After having some moments to gather myself in my new-found state. I suddenly felt like I was being lifted up by two beings, one on each side. Although, I could not see them. These Beings never revealed themselves, but, I knew they were there. They carried me out of the darkness and into what seemed like a sphere. When I began to see this cord of various lights begin to flash in and out of my field of vision. This cord seemed to be attached to me, yet I was traveling outside of it and with it until I came to an end.
When I stopped, my whole past history of my life flashed in an moment. Every thought, every feeling, every act, flashed through me. It made me feel that I was ready to leave this world. After this brief experience, I looked at a distance and saw a huge ball of fire; a light, emanating a desire for me to come closer. I remember feeling like I want to go into that Light. At this point, I started hearing these angelic voices saying, ‘Let go! Let go!’ I did. Or, at the very least, expressed my desire for them to let go of me. I suddenly started moving in a horizontal direction at a very fast rate of speed. I was headed directly for the Light. I noticed, as I got closer to the Light, there were parts of me that seemed to purge. I likened this experience to the scriptural refiners fire analogy.
However, as I got closer to the Light, despite the fact I wanted to go all the way. I suddenly felt like I was not worthy to enter it. I came to a sudden stop with my eyes fixated upon the Light. I never saw a Being, just a Light. At this point, a thundering voice spoke to me. It was not in the English language as we know it, but I was spoken to in a form of mind transference. The Voice made me aware that He had been watching me, was not pleased with my Life, and warned me to get my Life in order because He had a plan, a purpose for me to fulfill. And that was it, as far as the Voice speaking to me. I remember feeling the Love that was emanating from the Light. I felt great awe, but no fear and guilt.
Again, I felt two beings lift me from my suspension in front of the Light. This time, they carried me upwards. Instead of turning forward to see where I was going, I kept me eyes gazed upon the Light as I was speedily swept away from It. To my amazement, I saw something that was intriguing as I was moving away. What I saw was, to my slight right. It was a huge sphere of light. Opposite of it, horizontally, and to my slight left, in what seemed like from the direction I actually came from, was a huge void of darkness. The void was connected to two arms and tongues of fire emanated from the right and from the left. The fire moved in circular fashion from the sphere of Light. As the tongues moved closer to the void of darkness on the opposite side of this circular plane, they dissipated in brightness. It seemed to me that in those moments, all of creation was contained within these rings of fire. But, I do not honestly KNOW that. I DO KNOW that there were stars and other systems of stars contained within those rings of fire.
Once I had taken in all that I could take in, I turned my eyes toward the direction I was traveling while still being carried by two beings I could not see. They were consoling me. I think they were preparing me for what was coming next. In the next moment, I could see a very thin veil which looked to be translucent white and black. The two beings carried me slowly through the veil. I remember feeling the veil sooth across my face. Once I broke through, I KNEW ALL THINGS! Let me say that again… I KNEW ALL THINGS! It wasn’t but for a couple of moments, but the effects of knowledge began to fill my being.
Suddenly, I passed through another veil. I was back into my body and sitting up on the couch. The first thing I noticed was the clock on the TV. It read around 1:00 AM, with the second hand moving backwards to a slow stop. Then, the second hand moved forward again. I got up from the couch, somewhat confused as to where in time I popped out. I went into the kitchen, looked at the calendar, and walked back into the living room having ascertained, all is well. My state of consciousness was that of pure JOY! I felt very light in terms of weight. I felt that all I had to do was give the command and I could have floated to the ceiling; but, I also knew that I was not suppose to do that.
When I was in the realm of knowledge, I was shown my future and the actual purpose that the Light sent me back to my body. This knowledge was gone when I returned, not even a remnant of memory left from the experience. However, I was left with some strong feelings that I must press on with my purpose, whatever that was. I was left with this insatiable desire to tell the whole world. I began to feel what I might suffer by doing so, thinking how I would be laughed at, perhaps even scorned by relaying the experience. I could feel I was being tempted with doubt and fear, questions entering my mind, ‘Did this really happen to me?’ ‘Was this experience from God?’ ‘Did I have an actual vision from God?’ ‘Why?’ ‘Is there more?’ My resolve by nights end: I KNOW I had a vision from God. I knew it, and I knew that God knows it. And that is all that matters. Having paced the living room floor for several hours, it was around 5:00 AM, when I began to grow very weak. My body was yearning for sleep. I fell asleep on the couch and awoke around 10:00 AM. I felt refreshed and full of vitality. I could feel I was still under some spiritual influence. The waning of this influence lasted for several days. I could hear peoples thoughts as they passed by me and I could feel their feelings. Despite feeling trouble in some souls, I still felt things were good. My search for had Truth begun.