Rob N

My Three Death Experiences

Death Number 1

August 15, 2005. In the Detroit area in mid-August, they have what is called the ‘Dream Cruise’. It is the largest car show in the United States and more than one million people flock to this area for the event. Steve and Evelyn, who were my girlfriend’s parents, lived a block off the main strip. Donna and her son went over to their house to sit and watch the hot rods cruise the main street. I was at since my shift started about 8 AM and it was about 8 PM when my shift ended. I wasn’t feeling well and was in a bit of a foul mood. I called her to tell her that I was going back to the apartment since I didn’t feel well. I thought I ate something bad at lunch, but told her I would relax a bit, change and then come over there. Her parents lived about three miles from where we lived.

I arrived home and changed into a T-Shirt and shorts. I had what I thought was the worst case of heartburn I had ever felt. I just couldn’t get rid of that feeling. I suddenly started to have shortness of breath. I called her and told her she needed to get home immediately. I didn’t know what was wrong but something was not right. She said for me to call 911 but I didn’t feel that was necessary; was I wrong! I kept tugging on the collar of my T-Shirt to try to breathe easier. It was getting worse and now I felt nausea coming on. It was all evolving so quickly. I put the cellphone on the coffee table and rushed into the bathroom. When I vomited, it was clear bile. I thought that was peculiar. Once again, clear bile came rushing out repeatedly, nothing but clear bile.

Then it hit full force, I got weak, felt pain on my left side and collapsed on the floor. I was unable to move. My cellular phone wasn’t close to me and I knew at that moment what was happening. I was in serious trouble and I didn’t have any control of my destiny. I was at the mercy of GOD’s will.

I was having a heart attack, lying there on the bathroom floor staring at the toilet. I was hoping that my girlfriend took me serious enough to be on her way to the home.

I suppose in every tragedy that there always is a little comedy. As I lay there, I kept saying to myself that I wasn’t going to die looking at a toilet.

I could only imagine my Father dying in the same fashion. He went into the bathroom in 1977 and never came out alive. Did he say the same thing? This was a strange coincidence. I wondered, ‘If my Father died in the bathroom and now so will I? I am 47; he was 58, do I win? Is there a prize? Of all things, this is a strange way to die.’ I realize these are obscure things to be thinking about when I was having a heart attack but the mind is a complicated computer.

As I lay there with bile spilling out of my mouth, I kept repeating to myself, ‘I am not going to die looking at a toilet, I am not going to die looking at a toilet, I am not going to die looking at a toilet.’ Donna and her father Steve arrived. Steve found me on the bathroom floor and she called 911. When she walked into the bathroom she told me the paramedics were on the way, I remember looking at her and saying, “Good you’re here. I am tired and going to sleep now.” There is a reason for everything as I mentioned earlier. Perhaps if I was in Florida instead of Michigan, I would not have made it. What I thought was sleep was something completely different. My transition was starting for my journey to the other-side; it was my time to go home.

The Transition to the Afterlife

When I passed over the first time and began my journey to Heaven, I remember entering a cloud-like tunnel. The tunnel wasn’t going straight up; it was more like going into a parallel universe. I was slowly moving through the bright tunnel. It appeared that there were shadows of tree branches surrounding the tunnel. The feelings I experienced were not exactly earthly and they were much more intense than on earth.

The first feeling was a feeling of intense peace. It was so calm and serene with an incredible amount of tranquility. All of my earthly worries, thoughts, fears, and opinions were gone. The intensity of the tranquility was so incredible and overwhelming that there was no fear in what I was experiencing. I had no fear about where I was going and what to expect when I arrived there.

Then I felt warmth. It was as if I were wrapped in a blanket that came out of an oven. It wasn’t too hot, nor too cold. The warmth was simply perfect. It was like being held in the loving arms of an Angel with their wings wrapped around me to keep me warm and secure.

Then I felt the love. This is a very difficult feeling to describe. Try to remember the first time you saw your child or met your significant other. Most people know what I am talking about. It is that feeling of first-time love that is so positive and so powerful. Now take that feeling and multiply it thousands of times over. It is a love that is unimaginable on Earth.

Then there was the desire to be home, not at my earthly house but home in Heaven. It was overwhelming. The desire to be home with all of my loved ones and with GOD was like a massive force pulling me toward it. The force was so strong that I couldn’t get away from it even if I wanted to, which I guarantee that I didn’t. I wanted to be in the glory of GOD and to be with all those that have passed before me.

I was on the way home to where I belong and where I came from. My soul was now free from earthly bonds. I was traveling back from this journey of knowledge here on earth. The intensity of the feelings was overflowing. It is hard to describe the magnitude of it all, but my faith and belief in God suddenly took over.

I soon came to realize that I was feeling the power of GOD. The love, warmth, peace, and tranquility was also caused by the shadows that were surrounding the tunnel. What I thought were tree branches, were not tree branches at all. They were the people that I loved who had passed before me. They were surrounding the tunnel while holding, guiding, and welcoming me home. I was so content and so complete. I felt the most incredible combination of feelings one could ever imagine.

Then in one moment, it all stopped. I felt as if someone had grabbed me and was pulling me backwards out of the tunnel. I felt as if I were fighting to stop myself from being pulled out. I wanted to continue forward but that wasn’t meant to be. It didn’t matter how much I struggled, I couldn’t continue forward. Now, I felt fear and mass confusion. I couldn’t stop what was happening to my soul. I wanted to go back to the warmth but all the feelings I had were leaving me. They were being drained away from me.

The Royal Oak Fire Department Paramedics arrived on scene and resuscitated me. I remember lying there with pain in my chest. Then I recall being in the arms of a firefighter and being rushed to the ambulance. I was lying on the gurney in the back of the ambulance and staring at the light on the ceiling. I felt the IVs going into my veins and could hear the call to the hospital, “47 year old male, myocardial infarction, with resuscitation, ETA 3 minutes.” I don’t remember much from that point on.

I don’t remember arriving at the hospital or being wheeled into the hospital emergency room. I do not remember the staff working on me. What I do recall is being in the upper corner of the emergency room looking down upon my body. I saw about twenty people diligently trying to save my life. I don’t remember seeing the faces of the emergency room personnel; I just saw their scrubs and white coats. I recall looking down for a while as they frantically worked to revive me.

Suddenly and for no other reason, I just knew it was time to go. I turned away. I immediately returned to the tunnel with its warmth, glory, peace, and calmness. GOD was calling me home. The light was getting brighter the closer I got to home. I remember reaching the end of the tunnel again and being immediately embraced with that tremendous feeling of security and safety.

My vision was blurred from the light; there was some confusion but the smells were the first of the senses to kick in. I was surrounded by fragrantly sweet scents. It was kind of like the scents of all varieties of all the flowers all in one place. A gentle, warm breeze was flowing over me. I felt all was shear perfection.

As my vision began to clear, I saw numerous faces who were all happy and smiling. It felt as if I were being held by so many different souls, each of whom were welcoming me back home. It was difficult to recognize who they were because they all appeared young, as if in their twenties or early thirties. Yet, their faces started to become familiar once again. I knew who they were. The level of happiness that was felt can’t be explained in earthly terms. I saw my father, and my aunts and uncles that passed on before me. I saw my grandparents and others I knew who went before I did.

I knew I was safe and I was meant to be there. As I looked around to familiar myself with Heaven, off in the near-distance I saw incredible towers and buildings all glistening with inviting and incredible colors. I felt content where I was at and in no hurry to explore.

There is no need to hurry because there is no time. I was in an infinite zone where I could move as I pleased and when I pleased. I was glad to be home and surrounded by my loved ones. It felt so right and so normal. I had so many questions and wanted to be reacquainted but that wasn’t necessary. They knew what and who I was on earth. They knew what I did and told me that in due time we will meet and talk. They all were at peace. There was a slight bit of confusion on my part; I believe that it was caused by the transition. My soul was leaving my earthly surroundings and now I was in Heaven and in the glory of GOD. Those two worlds are never meant to be combined.

It felt as if my soul needed to go through a process of orientation back into Heaven. I think that was the next step. It was a time to look at my journey on earth, to view all that I had done, and to see if I completed the task I was sent to do. When this was complete, I was free to transition to anywhere and spend the time with those that meant so much to me.

My Father was the first soul I had to see. He left me when I was 19 and although I always knew he was there, I didn’t have his earthly contact that all young men need from their fathers. Since there is no time or concept of time, I do not know how long we spent together. But I know the visit was fulfilling and I know I miss him even more since I am back on earth.

Once I acclimatized to Heaven, I could remember loved ones on earth and check in on them now and again. But my focus isn’t on being on earth; it is there in the Glory of GOD. I know this to be true.

Then it happened again……………

I once again felt the pull back out of Heaven. I felt that I was fighting hard not to leave this glorious place that I was in. I fought but to no avail. I was returning to earth but wanted to know why I had to leave and why I couldn’t stay. I received no answers.

The next thing that happened was even stranger. I suddenly sat up. My girlfriend was in a chair next to the bed; her head was resting on the mattress. I woke her and asked, ‘What is happening? Where am I? What time is it?’ She looked at me as if she saw a ghost, ran out of the room, and returned with a nurse. A doctor arrived and they began to check me over. It all seemed like a blur. So many people were converging on me at once. After things calmed down in my room, I asked what all the commotion was about.

I found out that I was in a coma for four days!

A few days later, after I was medically cleared, I was released from the hospital to go home. I had a full beard and I was 20 pounds lighter. The medical quest now started to find out the causes of this deadly enigma in my chest. The Doctor gave me a copy of the picture of the arteries in my heart and circled the artery that was blocked causing the cardiac arrest. The first question; was the artery stented and reopened? The response was not what I wanted to hear. The artery was too small and narrow to stent. They felt the best option at this time was to medically treat the body.

This was an unnerving feeling to know that I had a blocked artery in my heart and they couldn’t fix it. I was walking around just waiting for another heart attack.

Death Number 2

It was Saturday, April 21, and I had to go into the office for about four hours. I was sitting at my desk when, all of a sudden, I got quite dizzy. I thought it was lack of food so I completed what I had to do, I stopped and grabbed a burger, and I felt better. I then went back to work. After I was done, I was driving home on the highway when a transient ischemic attack (TIA) hit me. I went numb on the left side of my body. My left leg and arm went weak. I called my wife and had her stay on the phone with me until I got home. Once I returned home, I tried to eat. I took a shower but I wasn’t feeling any better. We made the decision that we should go to the hospital.

What I thought would be a day or two of tests, turned into a 17 day odyssey that would once again change my life forever.

I was admitted into the hospital April 21, 2012, with a transient ischemic attack. The next day, I passed out in the restroom of my hospital room and badly bruised the right side of my face. My right eye swelled shut; I also had a wound on my forehead that resembled the floor tile pattern. Once they stabilized me and stopped the bleeding from my forehead, they rushed me in for blood tests, Cat Scans, MRIs. The lab reports showed hemoglobin of 13.8, the CAT Scan and MRIs were normal. Over the next few days the syncope episodes continued. My cardiologist, my physician assistant and general practitioner nurse were perplexed on this sudden turn of new events.

My cardiology team called in another cardiology team to confer on these symptoms. On Wednesday, April 25, they performed what is called a T.E.E. procedure to view the backside of my heart. This procedure was done under anesthesia and no labs were pulled for this procedure.

The electro-cardiologist and my cardiology team scheduled a surgery to implant a heart recording device in my chest right above my heart. This device would record activities of the heart and lock in abnormal rhythms within certain ranges specified by cardiology. The surgery was to take place at approximately 12:30 PM on Friday, April 27.

At 8:45 AM on the morning of the 27th the lab report stated my hemoglobin had dropped to 10.7. This was the first hemoglobin check since April 22. The result of a 3.1 drop in hemoglobin in four days was clearly marked on the lab report as ‘LOW,’ yet this important fact was overlooked and hemoglobin was no longer monitored. The surgery to implant the loop recorder proceeded.

I anticipated I would return home and recover from the heart recorder surgery on Sunday but those best laid plans were put to rest approximately 3:00 AM on Sunday morning. I apologize in advance for some of the graphic detail, but to be fully conscience for this is truly an experience that doesn’t occur often.

I woke and reached just a few inches for the urinal on the table next to the bed and suddenly vomited violently. Then I became light headed. It was dark in the room and the bile was just as black. I rang the nurse button and they arrived as I was violently vomiting again. I passed out.

They called the rapid response team who brought me back from the darkness. My heart rate was in the thirties. They stabilized me and decided to move me to a cardiac care room about 5:00 AM. We were able to get my wife to the hospital at about 6:30 AM or 6:45 AM. Life as I knew it went down from there. My blood pressure was also volatile and dropping. Per the lab reports, my hemoglobin was at a level of 4.9 at 4:00 AM before they moved me to critical care. They used an IV that I had in my right arm and replaced a fluid bag with a pint of B+ blood. This wasn’t enough.

The physician assistant realized I was bleeding out internally as my heart rate and blood pressure kept falling. He ordered the two nurses to get additional IVs started immediately because they needed to get more blood into me. My veins were all collapsing there wasn’t a vein that could be used due to the lack of fluid and blood in my body. The physician assistant refused to give up.

At that moment, my wife walked into the room to see how I was doing, she said I was shaking and gray in color. We heard someone yell for the crash cart. My mind was racing at this point because this is the first time I realized I was in serious trouble. I recall telling the physician assistant, “I am done, I am going” and he responded “You aren’t going anywhere today.”

At around 7:30 AM, I saw the tunnel open behind him. I knew then that I was close to going home again. The room was frantic with action. The physician assistant was frantically sticking a needle into the top of my hand trying desperately to find a vein so he could add another pint of blood to my body. I didn’t feel any pain from being stuck repeatedly with the needle.

I could not be medicated to relieve the pain or the stress, my vitals were too weak. I was helpless, at the mercy of GOD and the skills of the physician assistant. My wife was staring in shock at what was happening in front of her. I looked at her standing there. I remember the fear in her eyes and can only imagine the terror she felt. We heard the nurse reading the instruments aloud, stating my heart rate and blood pressure. Both readings were dropping quickly. The nurse then started the countdown of my life. “Heart rate falling. 12-11-10-9-8…” Another nurse stepped in, grabbed my wife by the arm, and started pulling her out of the room. Our eyes met for what I thought was the very last time as we heard my heart monitor begin the sound of beeeeep…. All went black. I took my last breath and had died.

Once I passed on, my transition to the other-side started again. The amazing thing about this space between life and death and the transition to the other side is that there is no aspect of time. Time is an earthly action. We wake when the sun comes up; we know it is getting late when the sun goes down. We fight time to get to work on schedule and to get home in the evening. We cherish time; it tells us when our childrens’ birthdays are, when it is Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter. Time tells us when our favorite television show is on or when our home team is playing. Time tells us how long we have been married or how long we have been divorced. Time tells us that twelve million years ago dinosaurs’ roamed the earth.

Yet, when I crossed that threshold from the living to the deceased, time became non-existent and irrelevant. Back on earth, the hospital staff may be working diligently to resuscitate me. But even the diligent hospital staff, after a set amount of time, will forego their efforts and let me stay in the realm of the deceased.

Since I passed through this threshold not once, but three times now, I knew what I should have expected. I didn’t expect this transition would be different but I must admit that neither transition was the same as the other. I had two totally different experiences. The same thing happened. I was alive and then I wasn’t. I ended up in Heaven but in different places with different greetings.

When it happened this time, I was fighting more to stay here on earth. I remember my apprehension about entering the tunnel. Although I was fighting, my soul knew that the right thing to do was enter the tunnel. The tunnel was different this time; the shadows surrounding the tunnel weren’t there. It was brighter this time and I seemed to be moving faster to the next realm. It also was warmer and seemed even more comforting and definitely more calming.

I, once again, returned to the other side. The peace and calmness was overwhelming. The feel of GOD’s love took over and my earthly memories were once again a thing of the past. I was happy to be home in Heaven. This journey was different though. I found myself in a large hall with other souls around me and they seemed to be attempting to ease my pain. They tried to make me feel warm, welcome, and comfortable. But it was all without words.

The hall was a large room with what looked like nooks in the walls. I wasn’t sure what they were used for. The nooks had what appeared to be souls wrapped in blankets. I wasn’t sure where I was and why I was there but I wasn’t concerned because it felt safe. It felt as if I was there to be debriefed and helped through the transition back home. Yet, nobody was saying a word. It was if they were just there to ensure I was OK and that my transition would go smoothly.

I knew that it would all be OK, I just didn’t know when or how. I felt what I was experiencing this time was because my death was more traumatic. In 2005, when I had the cardiac arrest, my body collapsed and when death came, it came quickly. When I transitioned in 2005, I was welcomed by family and loved ones. I think I was supposed to go home that time. But the skills of the emergency team found a way save me and bring me back to this world.

This time death was slower. Death didn’t come in minutes; it came over hours. This one had much more pain and suffering during this process of death. It is possible my soul wasn’t ready to leave earth this time, and as I struggled to remain here my death became more distressful.

Maybe this is what happens to some people when they die unexpectedly in a traumatic situation like being murdered or killed in an accident. Perhaps, their soul wasn’t ready or wasn’t called back at that time and the soul was in shock. I believe that this particular group of Angel’s singular purpose is to ensure that the transition is as painless as possible. Maybe the other souls I saw in the nooks were in some sort of hibernation to ease a traumatic transition. Maybe those souls need to heal from trauma and will eventually be blessed with God’s mercy and glory. This time, I did not see the outer wonders of heaven; I didn’t see my Father or my Grandparents. I didn’t feel the warm breeze on my face. This was not a cold, dark, dank place. On the contrary, it was warm and inviting with neutral peaceful colors. It was very comforting and caring. I can only speculate why it was this way. Perhaps, when I do make my final journey I will understand it more.

I had more to lose than the first time and therefore I fought harder to remain on earth. I don’t know if this is the proper way to decipher this but it is all I can think of for some sort of explanation. Is there a proper way to make the journey to the afterlife? No one on earth can really answer that question since each transition is an individual experience.

Again, I felt the all-too-sad rush backwards as I was returned to earth. There was no warning that it was going to happen, no knowledge of why I had to return, and not a word said. I was just being sent back because, once again, the medical team at the hospital found a way to resuscitate me.

I don’t know how long it took to bring me back. The next thing I remember was myself on a gurney, in the hallway outside the hospital room. I remember being wheeled past my wife, some of our friends, and the hospital chaplain who was there to give me the last rites. The fear in their eyes and their reactions affirmed the critical condition I was in. They tried to talk to me and touch me but were moved away by the staff.

The nurses told them that we had to move and move fast as they took off in a trot down the hallway. They rushed me to another floor and into an intensive care unit to prepare me for emergency surgery. I begged for medication but they wouldn’t give me anything for the pain or put me to sleep while they prepped me. My vital signs were still all over the board and medications could cause death.

I was rushed into emergency surgery to repair a tear in my esophagus which took 12 pints of blood to keep me alive.

Death Number 3

It was August 2014 when I woke in the morning at my home and realized I was bleeding internally again. I called my gastroenterologist and I went to the emergency room. They started an IV with a variety of drugs to control and stop the bleeding. Thankfully, it worked and I was out of danger. He performed another procedure and found that the main ulcer had doubled in size, gotten deeper, and it had three new ulcers.

We were out of options. We had tried all the drugs available, natural alternatives, and controlled diets, yet nothing improved my situation. My doctor advised me to seek the opinion of a surgeon. I scheduled an appointment and I went in for an updated piece of surgical advice.

This was the second time I met with surgeon. He was well recommended and highly experienced. We discussed the recent findings and came to the conclusion that we had no alternative but to operate. I was in chronic stomach pain and discomfort. He told me he would make an approximate 12-inch incision across my abdomen, and then cut my stomach muscle to enter my internal areas. He would only remove the part of the stomach that contained the ulcers and then he would dissect the nerve to cut the ones that produced the excessive stomach acid. After that, he would need to redirect the flow of my stomach since it would not be normally operational. We scheduled the procedure for October 29, 2014.

The procedure was a few weeks out and my nerves were getting worse. I counted the number of times in my life that I had been put out under anesthesia; this one would be number 20. For some reason this one bothered me deeply. It bothered me so much I actually wrote my will. I put my living will together and my medical power of attorney in case this time was the final one. Of course, my wife was in denial. She thought I was being insecure and that I was overreacting. She was there with me at the surgeon and heard what I heard.

The surgeon reassured us that this was an easy procedure. It will take about four hours but it is safe and we will be in his hands. If I waited, and I started to bleed again and IF I was lucky enough to make it to the hospital, I don’t know who would be doing the surgery. At least I know he would be and he is the best.

In the days leading up to the surgery, I kept telling my wife I didn’t feel good about this one. My cousins would call and I told them the same thing. I had a bad feeling inside and I couldn’t explain it. Was my guardian angel talking to me? I don’t know, but the message was loud and clear. Do not do the surgery!

The day of surgery came and we were told to be at the hospital at 6:00 am for an 8:00 am start time. 5:00 am came early. I didn’t sleep much and was on edge. I gave my wife some of my personal belongings and I began to tell her where all my important things were. She stopped me; she wouldn’t listen. We got in the car for the 20-minute drive to the hospital and I drove. I handed her the envelope with the will, medical power of attorney, and explained what they were and what to show the medical staff if something went wrong. I sealed the will to be opened upon my death only. I told her that in the envelope was a letter that told her where everything was and who to contact.

As we drove she was upbeat, and she did her best to keep me level until she saw the tears flowing down my cheeks. I told her I was scared and I wasn’t sure this was the right thing to do. This was a life-altering decision that would affect me for the rest of my life. My eating habits would be changed forever, and I wasn’t ready for the pain I was expecting. She kept me going until we got to the hospital and we registered.

At this hospital when you register, your next of kin gets a buzzer like the ones you get in a restaurant while you are waiting for a table. The desk personal told us the procedure would take about four hours. When the surgery was about to be completed the buzzer would light up and my wife would know the surgeon would be out to speak with her. We had a seat and waited for them to call me when it was time to be prepped for surgery. The buzzer lit up and I went in.

The surgeon came in and I told him of my fears and that I wasn’t feeling good about this surgery. He assured my wife and I that it would be fine, this was a standard operation, and he began to tell me about what to expect when the operation was completed. This did not comfort me but I got myself together, faced what I had to do, and I was ready to go. I could only say a small prayer for GOD to watch over me and guide my surgeon’s hand. It was time. I had made a sign and held it up for a photo before I was taken into the operating room. It said,

“I have reached a new personal Best!

XX (20) Surgical Procedures

This One is a Bad One Though

What is Scarier Than That?

Today is October 29th………

It is what would have been my Mother’s 95th Birthday!”

I had my wife post it on my Facebook page and then the surgical staff came and brought me into the operating room. I think I counted backwards and got to number 8 before I was in the ozone. The procedure had begun. From this point on, I can only tell you what I was told by my wife and later on by the surgeon.

It was going on 8:35 am when my wife’s buzzer went off. She went to the registration desk to tell them they made a mistake and rang the wrong buzzer. They confirmed my name and date of birth. They told her that the surgeon was just finishing up and would be out shortly. She said, ‘That cannot be right, the surgery was scheduled to take four hours.’ She was told to collect her belongings and to go into a small private family waiting room behind the registration area.

I cannot imagine what was going through her mind at that time. A four-hour surgery stopped in 40 minutes? It couldn’t be good.

Within a few minutes the surgeon came into the room pulled up a chair leaned forward and said we had to abort the surgery. He is OK, but we went in and as we were checking his internal organs, his blood pressure dropped and we lost his heartbeat. I had to do chest compressions and my assistant surgeon did open-heart massage. He was only gone for about a minute. He said that we did not feel comfortable with his chances to survive so continuing wasn’t an option. We closed him up. He is in recovery and will be moved to the intensive care unit. I have called in his cardiologist to confer with him. Once I meet with them, I will be up there early this evening to review what we know and what options we have. He then had a nurse take my wife to the recovery area.

Even as I write this it still breaks my heart to imagine what she must have gone through for those minutes sitting in that room by herself. It is an experience I never want to have. We had been married 5 years as of May 30, 2014. In that short amount of time, she has had her husband go clinically dead twice and the first she actually witnessed. She is a strong and amazing woman to be able to handle this level of stress.

Yet Another Different Transition

This voyage was short. I only saw the tunnel entrance but never entered. The surgeons worked diligently and quickly in sync with anesthesiology to bring me back to the earthly side. I have no other details on this death than that.

Once I woke in recovery, I was still in a very hazing state. I was on heavy pain medication due to the large incision in my abdomen.

The moved me to the fourth floor intensive care unit (ICU) where I had spent recovering from a previous lifesaving surgery after a subsequent death.

Once the nursing staff got me situated, my wife was allowed in. When she came to the bedside, I could see distress in her face and her eyes. The nurses were buzzing around and I asked how it went. There was a moment of silence as the nurses looked at my wife and my wife looked at them. They were all looking to see who should explain what had occurred.

The ICU nurse told me the surgery was not completed. They ran into an issue once they were in me. She told me that I flat-lined on the table and the Doctor would be in later to talk to me but that for now, I needed to rest. I was in shock. All I could do is look at my wife and say, “Not again?” Then I drifted off to sleep.

When I awoke a couple of hours later, there was still activity in the room. The nursing care was amazing and constant. The surgical medication was wearing off and the pain levels were increasing so they maintained a self-triggered medication dosage. I was able to control some of the pain on my own but they also gave additional dosages when necessary.

My wife tried to explain what occurred but I was still in shock that death happened once again. I wanted to see the incision and she helped me lift my surgical gown to view what they had done. It was not a pretty site to view.

The doctors went back in on Halloween, October 31, 2014, to complete the surgery. The room was heavily staffed with additional cardiologists, anesthesiologists and nursing staff. The procedure went off without a glitch. I am still recovering from this surgery and experience.


Since my mother passing in January of 2013, strange things happen in my home that has never happened in the years prior. My wife and I joke and say my Mother is here. We say hello and go on with our tasks at hand. Occasionally our dogs will go crazy and the hair on their backs stand up when they walk into a room. There is nothing there and no sounds that would cause this reaction. We know someone is visiting from the other side.

My personal belief is that our souls must learn multiple lessons to grow into more glorious beings. I believe we are sent to earth to learn specific lessons. Whether we learn that lesson or not is because of the free will that we have on earth. The interactions with others can and often do alter your path. Have you ever met someone and thought to yourself, I met this person before but I can’t remember where? Then you banter back and forth trying to find the common denominator of where you met and the conversation ultimately ends with, “Oh well, I don’t know but it is strange, isn’t it?” I believe that two people had met before and that soul had such a profound effect on each other in a previous life that you remembered it in this lifetime. The magical thing about this is that your time on earth doesn’t allow maintenance of memories of past journeys and the lessons you were here to learn in the past life.

Have you ever met a child or a younger person and they seemed so much more mature for their age? Or have you met someone that acted much younger than their earthly years? I believe that is the age of their soul coming through. This gives us a small window into their souls and the lessons they have learned.

Since there is no time in Heaven our soul can remain there indefinitely or we can chose to return and take on new lessons that will ultimately bring us closer to GODLINESS.