It was Christmas eve 2004. I was vacuuming at the time and had a heart attack. I can remember a paramedic talking to me but I also felt that I was slipping away. I heard loud hissing in my ears that became like the sound of a loud waterfall. I remember saying that I could not hear him anymore then, pop!

I was in a black place that did not feel like a tunnel but was vastly open. I was moving to a ‘light’ that was not bright but it was golden-soft like a cloud at sunset. I mostly remember the peaceful feeling with no panic; just calm in my mind. I also remember thinking, ‘I guess I get to find out what happens now.’ I knew I was dead and had no body anymore. I realized that I was not breathing now and also thought about the fact that I was dead and did not care. I was actually quite calm and in a state of wonder. I thought about the ‘cloud’ I could see. I wondered why I could see at all. I wondered how fast I was moving as there was no point of reference, but I could feel I was moving for sure. I remember coming to the ‘cloud.’

The next thing I remember was waking up in intensive care 12 hours later. I have no recollection of anything that happened after the cloud, only feelings and some weird sense of knowing something I am not allowed to remember. I do know my life changed a lot after that. I remember telling my boss who was waiting or visiting, was ‘All that stuff we have doesn’t mean anything.’ I had a good job and made $70,000 a year, had a house, nice car, all the ‘stuff’. My core beliefs changed, and I do not know why. I did not knowingly change but I did. There actually was a newspaper article about me in the St. Albert Gazette about my heart attack. It was so bad.

My doctor calls me Lazareth because he said I should not have survived.

I have fundamentally changed to my core. I ended up teaching in an orphanage in South East Asia for no pay, living off my own savings. Angry at the greed of this world. But before I lived in the very same greed and enjoyed it. So, no chat with God that I can remember, no visits with dead family nothing like that. A sure memory of what happened at the point of passing and a complete change of my life afterwards.